My Aunt Nene

Hey Lovies, today’s conversation is going to be an  engaging one as we all need these endless tips even though it sometimes seem like we are losing grip of our realities with the mounting responsibilities of work/relationship/motherhood/marriage etc.

I remember my Aunt Nene vividly – not  real name, (she isn't a real Aunt literally speaking but she moved into my Grand parents’ house with her husband shortly after they got married) I got to know her quickly and I swore she was  going to be my role Model for life – she was  confident & cheerful, spoke with a distinct diction, dressed trendy but elegantly(I’m big on appropriate dressing) and she always looked good at anytime of the day. I used to think her husband “married up” with her because she just had a way  of looking prim and proper at all hours of the day & wait for it…she was also a fantastic cook !!!

It took me only 2 years of being gone and when I came back, I didn’t recognized the new Aunt Nene who just bore a  beautiful daughter -  she was always irritable, (every comment was snide now) untidy, had her hair tied up in a bun, gained so much weight with no medical condition attached and with that  went all the elegant dressing,  dressed d-o-w-n all day every week except for Sundays thank goodness! ate at odd hours-  I loved that part then though. Even I felt heart-broken because this used to be my Mirror for Pete’s sake ! The day I asked her why she still had her old clothes full in the wardrobe, she broke down and said she still hoped to fit in them one day but the only surprising element was that she wasn’t doing anything to get back to her dream person.

 That encounter always weighed heavily on my mind even before I got married and till now every time I relapse, all I had to do was see Aunt Nene and I’ll jump back on the Wagon.

Realistically speaking, It’s almost impossible to remain the same  after child-birth. The weight gain, crazy routine, new priorities, change in complexion (I had a problem with my skin and it took me almost two years to fix ) and so many more I’ll leave you to share are good enough reasons that justify our new looks after these beautiful 9months journey . But in all, I have decided to  slowly erode our Aunt Nene syndrome by starting with the basic  first steps.

1.       Plan -  I say plan because most of us never had/have a plan on how to get our bodies back to shape after the baby/ies come . I had this problem myself ,  after I had my son everyone told me how I had lost weight and looked like my pre-pregnancy self !  I was so excited and felt like  one of these Hollywood stars. Fast-forward 2 months after, I was battling a size 16 dress to wear on my first day of resumption back to work (I was a 10 pre-baby BTW) .I kept looking at the size panel to be sure I wasn’t mistaken ! Apparently, because I didn’t have a solid plan on how to keep the weigh off, I just kept eating  as much as my body asked for- no serious exercise, no healthy meal plan(oh! The pounded yam I had then would feed a crusade – my MIL is Ekiti BTW) no nothing ! I learnt my lesson the hard way and I have vowed to do better in my next journey . My friend PO and I already have a solid plan in place to help our decision . So Plan! Plan! Plan!

2.       Self Confidence : I tell people, the new weight is not the only problem we women have to deal with after the babies come. Our SC usually takes a nose dive and  it’s justified 100%. After my son came, I almost resorted to bleaching out the skin on my midriff area; It just  didn’t clear for endless months and of course I refused to change clothes in front of DH the first few weeks until he noticed and gave me a perfect lecture on gratitude and after we went to see a Dermatologist. God bless our DHs! My confidence came back after  the lecture, not after the Derm visit mind you. I believe women are mini-gods who help in keeping the human race alive and relevant..If as a man you don’t agree then please call God’s hot-line to revolt!!!

Please ladies do what makes you feel good – buy a lingerie fit for your body, surround yourself with positive minded people, don’t ever use what you see on the social media as a yardstick and always remember how blessed you are to be opportuned to bring a child into this world.

3.       Shop Wisely : I say wisely because most of us still go out and buy inappropriate clothing for our new curvy figure – sometimes this happens unconsciously and other times during self-denial (I just finally gave up the struggle and gave out my size 10 dresses BTW) .

Why would I buy a skin-tight satin/bandage dress if I have cellulite on my thigh/bum area, why would I wear crop tops if I have stretch marks on my midriff,why would I wear sleeveless dresses if I am uncomfortable with the new size of my arms…It’s endless but if you dress appropriately, you will be more comfortable and confident (notice how silly a person  who wears a micro mini skirt willingly but will keep trying to give it extra length with every step by dragging the poor skirt down down looks ?).

 Fat is not bad as long as you are comfortable with your size, it isn't a health hazard and you can do most of the physicals your age-group do . I have a curvy friend that we all went to   Uni  together- my God, LO’s confidence will make you want fat and she is stunning too btw. On our way to and fro class, I always had to run to meet up with her  ; abeg Fat is not a disease yet !.... but the moment you start getting depressed when you look into the mirror, that is the time to switch things up for your own  sake 1^st  not for anyone else.

Aunt Nene is a cool size 14 now with a glowing skin and a great attitude..according to her, she would have gone down to a 12/10 if she wanted but she didn’t want to get rid of her newly found shapely bum!!!!

Please share your advice, suggestions on how you plan to or already have beat the post-baby new look/life issue.

NB – I have received a couple of emails on how I tend to cut off my Single/non- mommy  readers so ladies this is your time to shine o…Tell us how you keep that figure 8  and sassy attitude going .

BTW : By The Way

MIL : Mum-in-law

SC : Self Confidence

DH : Dear Husband

Married Up : Married to a person who supposedly deserved better